Svi su joj govorili da izgleda sjajno, a ona je bila na ivici smrti

Kako je rekla, njoj bliski ljudi, pa čak i njen lekar nisu shvatili kroz šta prolazi zbog utiska koji je ostavljala svojim izgledom.

- "Ne izgledaš suicidalno", sećam se kada su te reči izašle iz usta mog lekara nakon što sam mu rekla da razmišljam o samoubistvu. Sećam se da sam se tada osetila glupo i posramljeno, nešto što niko ko razmišlja o tome ne bi trebalo da oseti. Osetila sam se zbunjeno. Kako je trebalo da izgledam? Držati bočicu tableta u jednoj ruci i oproštajno pismo u drugoj? Te reči skoro su me koštale života, ta njegova procena, te glupe, glupe reči.

Nakon toga Mili se predozirala u dnevnoj sobi, misleći da joj niko neće pomoći jer nije izgledala suicidalno.

Tw: talk of suicidal tendencies. . "You don't look suicidal"... I remember these words coming from the Dr's mouth right after I'd just told him that I was having thoughts of suicide. I remember in that moment my 14 year old self felt invalidation, dumb and embarrassed; something no one in that mindset should have to feel. I left feeling confused, what was I supposed to look like? A bottle of pills in one hand and a suicide note in the other? Those words nearly cost me my life, that judgment, those stupid stupid words. . I remember the night just last year that I spiralled and overdosed in my living room. I remember thinking to myself "I can't get help, I don't look suicidal, I don't fit the bill, they'll laugh at me". I remember thinking I must have looked the part, must have been wearing the suicidal costume properly when I woke up in Resus as all around me were concerned, worried and sad faces. By then this could have been too late, i might not have been there to see those sad faces if my partner hadn't of saved my life. . This, this is the danger of thinking mental health has a 'face',a 'look'. This is how stigma, ignorance and judgement towards mental health/suicide affects those who are poorly. . In both these photos i'm suicidal, perhaps not in the same way but on both of these days I had suicidal thoughts racing around. . Stop the judgment. Stop the stigma.

A post shared by Milly Smith 💛🌻☀️👑 (@selfloveclubb) on Sep 3, 2017 at 11:05am PDT

- Sećam se da sam razmišljala da moram izgledati tako, a čini se da sam uspela jer nakon što sam se osvetila svi oko mene su bili zabrinuti i tužni. Tada je moglo biti prekasno, možda nikada ne bih videla ta lica da mi partner nije spasao život.

Kako kaže, opasno je misliti da mentalne bolesti imaju “određeno lice“.

- Stigma, neznanje i predrasude o mentalnom zdravlju i samoubistvu pogađaju one koji se osećaju loše - napisala je i objavila fotografije iz perioda kada je razmišljala o samoubistvu.

- Na obe fotografije sam suicidalna, ali ne na isti način, ali oba dana su mi te misli prolazile kroz glavu - zaključuje.

Izvor: Superzena.net